Managing Relationships in a Multi-Dog House

More than 75 percent of people who own pets own more than one. And most of those owners get that second pet to keep the first one company. However, what most owners don't realize is that most of us don't like that second pet half as much as we like you! In fact, some of us hate that second pet. (Of course, mine is an extreme case -- Chubbs is just the worst sibling ever!)

On the other hand, that second pet, unless he's the devil like Chubbs, will probably prefer us, the first pet. The difference is that when we come in the home as the first pet, we have to learn how to identify with you. We build a relationship with you and learn how to read and understand you. When the second pet comes in, they have a choice between building a relationship with you, a mystery from a different species, and us, another dog they can identify with. Most owners are fine with this since they got the second pet to keep the first one company.

There are a couple of problems that can develop from this dynamic. For the first pet, there is now competition for our favorite thing in the world -- you. There's competition for playtime and pet time and other activities that were once exclusively ours. For the second pet, they don't develop a relationship with you, and they often aren't well-trained because you didn't take the time to train them individually like you did with us. This often leads to dog-dog reactivity in the second dog, not toward pets in the home but outside of the home. They may be overly connected to us and have separation anxiety when we aren't around.

The best way to avoid these dynamics is finding alone time for each dog, just as you would for each child. It's really important to keep your relationship with your first pet and build one with your second pet. For example, in our house, Chubbs is very social, so Mom takes him out for therapy work and training sessions. I get to go to special places for long walks, and sometimes, Mom will go in the bedroom with just me and close the door so we can cuddle. Fenway gets special alone trips in the car and alone time in the bedroom to play tug without the big dogs interrupting. Mom finds activities that each one of us likes and makes sure to make time for each one of us.

If you have more than one dog, try to make time for each of them as well. Maybe one is older and would like cuddle time without the other squeezing in while the younger dog would like to go on a long run that the older one can no longer tolerate. Think about your individual dogs (or cats or birds or whatever) and ways to bond with each of them without the other one present. It will go a long way in building the relationship you want to have with your dogs.

If you are concerned about jealousy when separating the dogs, don't be. Though it will be weird at first, your dogs will get used to spending time alone with the other gets individual time -- as long as they get their time as well! Each time Mom opens the door, we all look at her to see who will get called out. We're all initially upset if it isn't us, but then we calm down, go to sleep and know that soon enough, we will be the one called out the door. It's always worth the wait!

Love, Muggsy